The Job Effect

Sometimes I think God just jazzes life up to keep it from getting too boring.

I have this huge rash on my face, well technically below my face on my chin/neck area, right now...and it looks like it's spreading. Luckily enough, I had already scheduled an appointment a month ago with a new doctor for this Thursday. This really sucks and it makes everything I do from sleeping to sitting in on a meeting slightly awkward. I've called the doctor for an earlier appointment, but apparently there isn't one for a first-time visit/physical. So I walked around my office building looking for a pharmacy, ran into my boss who directed me to one behind this building, and found out about all these shops here. There's a really nice gym, a pet grooming store, and a Duane Reade where there was a really helpful pharmacist who told me to take Benadryl tonight. There are really nice riverside condo buildings too, and it definitely has that Roosevelt Island feel to it. This is weird though. I don't recall ever having an allergy in my life! I can't wait to get home, take this Benadryl and conk out. I hope it's better tomorrow.

Otherwise, I realized, my life would be pretty boring. Get up at 6am, get to work at 8:30am, do nothing all day, leave around 5-6pm, do something at night, sleep, do it over again. What a middling life it seems. Frankly, it's kinda what I was going for. But my past has exposed me to have wanted what's actually good for me only 10% of the time. I find myself always fighting from feeling mediocre and/or the coping mechanisms I've developed to escape from that kind of feeling. I find these last few weeks, God has given physical manifestations of this struggle (from this rash, to pimples, to actual sickness) which I'm not very used to, weakening my body and my will and strengthening my character and wisdom at the same time. For instance, this rash has been a really discouraging force in terms of having a real quiet time, resting in Christ which I usually do in the morning and at night, but it has shown me how much more I need it, as my mind wanders more easily to things that are not very helpful to think about. And whoa!, this rash started like on Sunday. I don't think wise people necessarily don't have to re-learn things they've learned before or not suffer things to build character, they're just more aware and recognize God faster and re-learn sooner rather than later. Wisdom is knowing your true self. Wisdom is recognizing that you're a fool, so that you can receive grace and truth from God.