"Pa, paaaaaaa, this is the sound of settling"

I realized that I wish work would be more like The Office. There, nobody seems to be doing any real work (like me) but they're having fun. That's because work isn't part of their identity, more like just something they do. Like brushing your teeth. In a sense, they are the opposite of being fulfilled by the joy and peace of God, but they look a lot closer to it than I am. Finding my true identity is definitely key.

I really like well worded, profound passages. I've been reading Dandelion Wine by: Ray Bradbury. It was in the Sci-fi section of the Library, but I knew that it actually didn't belong there, despite the author's usual genre. It's weirding reading about a 12-year-old boy in the summer of 1928 and his revelations and adventures in a generic small town in Midwestern America, while riding in train after train trying to be an urban professional grown up in a cosmopolitan metropolis. My summer is much different than his. So maybe in a sense it does belong in the sci-fi section...at least for girls trying to be women.

Ray Bradbury has such an exuberant style. It can be pretty ridiculous, but it's kinda like any beautiful over-the-top movie. You have to let your guard down and let the movie move you. Here's something I read today: "He felt the tremble.... Why? But she was bigger, stronger, more intelligent than himself, wasn't she? Did she, too, feel that intangible menace, that groping out of darkness, that crouching malignancy down below? Was there, then, no strength in growing up? No solace in being an adult? No sanctuary in life? No fleshly citadel strong enough to withstand the scrabbling assault of midnights? Doubts flushed him. Ice cream lived again in his throat, stomach, spine, and limbs; he was instantly cold as a wind out of December gone."

This was referring to Tom (10-year-old brother) looking into the utter darkness of a ravine with his mother holding his hand, for the first time truly feeling the fear that drives us all. Of course, I've been reading 1 John lately. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

I completely know the answer to the question marks, but I still feel them. "Was there, then, no strength in growing up? No solace in being an adult?" I was also reading Dynamics last night. And it was a part where he was talking about the Holy Spirit and the lack thereof in the church. (Reading this books reminds me of why professors asked us to write about every frickin' thing. It's to learn how to relate information and shape it as our own. But now that I have to do it, it's so hard to really do it right.) He made an interesting point that the Holy Spirit is like being face to face with God, all the time. ALL THE TIME, face to face, YOU and GOD. After that I read some Puritan prayers about the Holy Spirit. Obviously, I've been having good times with the thought.

This whole post is the makings of a 10 page paper. But without all the connecting paragraphs, thoughts, and quotes, it may seem like they really have nothing to do with each other...that's slightly frustrating. But I'll try to refrain from (and prevent any possible joy to my Writing the Essay professor) the thought that I wish I could write this paper...that's just ridiculous, Xaris, really!