Dreams

Recently, I've been paying more attention to my dreams...don't really remember why, but I just have. I'm not writing them down or anything, though it helps when I tell someone about it. I noticed that most of my dreams actually include people I never really see like my parents, my brother, my closest cousins, my dog, my grandmother who has passed away, and Laura Z. Ben will make an appearance once and awhile, but most times it's all these random people.

Another thing is that I'm always on vacation somewhere, like in somebody else's house or my house or in a villa by the ocean. I guess it makes sense that I'm on vacation since these are the only contexts I see any of these people anymore. I realize that all of them have something to do with me being responsible for something.

One dream my parents and I went off on vacation, but apparently I had a paper to write and forgot some textbooks at home (SO weird, because I didn't really write that many papers as a Sternie). I drive back home and see my dog, Boris, and am so confused as to why my parents would leave Boris by himself (this is HILARIOUS because it would never happen and my parents are very particular about Boris's caretaker and schedule while they are away). But then my cousins Josh and Jikki were just hanging out there at my house. Basically it involved me running around taking care of things, while everyone wasn't doing anything about it.

So I think the running theme is that I feel resentful toward all the responsibility I've been given and other people who should be doing what they're responsible for, but are just so callously not, thus causing me to pull up the slack. Classic boundary problem I have with my parents. Classic boundary problem I have with everybody! Though, I think I've really made strides in this regard. Boundaries are so healthy.

Ah, thank God for counseling but more importantly His Holy Spirit!