Flashbacks

I realized I kind of lose the real sense of time passing when I don't have major anchors to tell me so. I read some older posts of mine, just to find some kind of grounding. It seems to me my posts were just a little different. Thought I'd post some samples below:

"Ben got me reading this book 'Dynamics of the Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal' by Richard Lovelace. Here's a good quote: 'The lifelong process of mortifying sin involves a gradual detection process by which the particular forms in which sin expresses itself in our lives, our characteristic flesh, are uncovered to our view. Some of this discovery of sin occurs early in our Christian lives, but the subtlety of indwelling sin is such that many of its deeper roots remain under the surface of consciousness, where they will continue to distort our lives if they are not uncovered later.'...Everyday is a constant spiritual struggle to hold fast onto Jesus. I feel too weak for the call of holiness, and I fear failure and letting people down. My life has changed dramatically and I fear that I can't handle this, despite all the encouragement from people who have said otherwise." from "Conformity"

"I completely know the answer to the question marks, but I still feel them. 'Was there, then, no strength in growing up? No solace in being an adult?' I was also reading Dynamics last night. And it was a part where he was talking about the Holy Spirit and the lack thereof in the church...He made an interesting point that the Holy Spirit is like being face to face with God, all the time. ALL THE TIME, face to face, YOU and GOD. After that I read some Puritan prayers about the Holy Spirit. Obviously, I've been having good times with the thought." from here

"'However important [growing my character] may be, this process of repentance trains us in habits of the soul that are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God.' (from a 1 John Redeemer study). As Tim Keller says about relationships "Love is an action first, a feeling second." How could we expect any more from ourselves in our relationship with God? If loving God and being in a relationship with Him means forcing myself to sing a hymn, say a prayer, or read out stale sounding words, I'm going to freaking do it because it was what I was made to do. Like with most things, the focus isn't on receiving or even giving with excellence (that's covered by God in His covenant with us), really the focus is who you're giving to. That's what eros is, and that's the metaphor God likes to use with Christ as the groom and the Church as the bride." from "Life is Repentance (Rejoicing)"