Wedding, wedding, wedding

Somebody suggested (perhaps Dan T) that I get new business cards saying "Bride / Wedding Planner". It does have a ring to it.

I ordered my wedding dress last Saturday and am very happy that that's over with. I had a rather specific idea in mind, and I was really worried that I wouldn't find it. I'm excited for the fittings that will slowly make this dress mine.

I've been looking at assorted wedding things today. I've been giving some serious thought on centerpieces.

This one is from the Knot. I like how these are both things I can get from Ikea: river rocks, rectangular vase. Check!

But I think I still really love this look (that I got from Blooms By the Box ), seeing the flowers through the glass. I guess it depends on how clear the glass is and pricing for the florist. I don't know if I want to use Blooms By the Box just because I don't wanna stress out about ordering something so close to the wedding. The caterer has some tea lights we could use too.

So I've learned a couple things so far while planning this thing. I was never the type of person to have her wedding all planned out already and all you need is the groom (oddly enough from someone like me, but it's true). So it's interesting what pops up. There are certain things I really don't care about. Somethings that I'm even surprised at how much it's just not important to me. Like the bridesmaids dresses aren't important to me (hey, they're all pretty hot, I'm not really worried about them looking absolutely beautiful). Ceremony decorations, my bouqet, bridesmaids' bouqet, food, alcohol. What are important to me are sentimental, meaningful, and unique musical choices and beauty. Beauty is a big one. I think the colors are really important and the design of the save-the-dates to the floral arrangements should somehow tie in together.

This makes it really hard to look through all the ideas out there. At least with my dress, I had an idea, but because I'm kind of open to other designs, it's a bit of a crapshoot. Also, you start feeling like having a beautiful wedding is impossible, because you can never do all these things they're suggesting. It's absolutely not true, but it's the lie I must contend with. I think it's very similar to reading Seventeen magazine and feeling really ugly and/or abnormal. I never did read those much.

There's a lot to stand up to the world to and say "NO!". Everyone has an opinion about weddings and marriage, and it's interesting the people that just freely give me advice, even when I didn't ask for it. Some of it is good of course, but it's annoyingly bad mostly, especially when they don't know me or me in a relationship with Ben that well. I think what's weird about it is that they left me alone about every other important decision I've made thus far, and all of the sudden they've got something to say about what date my Wedding should be. I'm realizing that I'm just not used to that. My parents were very hands off with me (as they continue to be now, except of course are more than ready to serve and help) and I'm just not used to people telling me something I've decided is wrong, especially when it was my decision to make. Deal with it! I don't care if you can come or not.

Obviously, I'm a little angry and stressed about it. Point is, all the random opinions from people who have no idea who I am is not helpful.