Lehman

It's times like these that I wonder what God is doing. It's times like these that I need to process. First of all, the practical and general observations. OMG, who would have known! Three of the five major independent broker/dealer houses of Wall St have all but disappeared and swallowed up by commercial banks in less than 7 months. No doubt about it, these are extreme times, and a new world order is emerging. It's as if there was a revolution and the South did win the Civil War and seceded. It's as if my grandparents divorced, but with world consequences. Commercial banks with reliable deposits are emerging as if the banks are just going back to basics. Lehman, a bank that was started in the 1800s (!), is gone. And of course, I take issue with any government bail out. I'm a taxpayer after all and I don't think billionaire's (which CEO Dick Fuld is one of, I used to dream about being his daughter) should be saved from their own friggin' mess, but the fact that the Fed chose to save others and just said no to Lehman makes it a decider of who lives and dies. That's an unfortunate position. And btw, Obama's comment about how this is Bush's fault gives him negative 1000 points from me. Either 1) he doesn't really understand how little the presidency has sway over the current problems we have, thus University of Chicago economics hasn't put a dent in him and he would be utterly unable to fix this specific problem, 2) he does understand, but is using this current crisis as an opportunity to put blame on the current administration, which is just dirty politics. I'd like him to show me how Bush had direct involvement with the bad bets the market has made on housing, and really what Bush could do to clean it up. And what a 2-year Democratic congress has done so far to ease the pain, when after all we were having an alright 5 years of recovery before that. They can't do much at all, and they shouldn't. Granted though, I do think it seems that Obama could make a difference for the middle class and small businesses, not for big businesses and rich people who would be more than fine either way. I read this article in the NY Times that showed how the rich have gotten richer about the same amount whether the president was a Democrat or a Republican, the real difference was for the middle class. No one sits around thinking, I'm not going to make more money because of the taxes, people try to make money whatever the consequence. It's the capitalist way! Unless capitalism falls and we suddenly become communists or another Great Depression happens, the government can do nothing about the larger market and its infrastructure. It's the freedom that people have fought and died for.

Now a smaller scale of the city. New York City will be hit hard. The job loss and loss of business presence of these once two major Wall St giants will result in smaller tax revenues and thus budget cuts in education, healthcare, transportation, etc. NYU is kinda microcosm of this. NYU is a great school with lots of amazing, top-notch arts and liberal arts programs. But NYU's largest donations come from Stern alumni. NYC is a city of culture, art, drama, etc., but it depends a lot on Wall St. to keep this city going. I don't know, maybe we'll be fine. Maybe some other huge company (aka Bank of America) will take over the huge hole that 745 7th Ave (Lehman HQ) will leave. They just have to change everything green to red. Not to mention the thousands of people who are losing their jobs, some of whom know and love....where will they go?

And we finally get to the personal. It was weird to find my tears welling up when I saw the pictures on the front page of the WSJ of all the angsty, frustrated, and devastated people that run "the markets". Though the markets really is the epitome of "chaff in the wind" as the Bible says, there are a lot of people out there collectively going through the tearing down of their idols. It's like when Kerry lost the election and NYC was just so freaking depressed it was sickening. Not that I wasn't there with them and if I had been allowed to vote, I probably would not have voted for Bush, but come on! But politics isn't my idol, business is. The way my world works is. And because I'm an F of course I feel this one through. I know it was rough letting Lehman go, but in my heart of hearts I was still somewhat loyal to that company and the way it did business and the way the people were. And it was comforting to think that someday I could still get the little green passcard with my picture and name on it and walk around the familiar floors of 745 and eat in the awesome cafeteria. Sometimes I think that's why I'm happy to be a consultant with a red passcard with my picture and name on it, because it has Non-employee on it, like I don't belong to anything and can move around until I can finally get to a company and job that I can feel loyal to. It's weird to think that when my children come to a point like I did in failing to get the job they most wanted, and felt most defined them, I would try to tell my story and they wouldn't even know what Lehman is or what it stood for.

Of course I see God's hand and praise Him for His wisdom and blessing for forcing me to break up with Lehman in a sense. That despite the 6 interviews with major heads and the utter rejection I was given, God was growing me, even in that. And it's rare that one can be shown this so early on, not like years down the road. But the meltdown of Lehman and the buyout of Merrill (both companies I've worked in btw, weird!), affects everyone whether you know it or not. It affects the deal I'm on, which may not happen now. It's the financial version of human brokenness. When one person in a wider community fails so miserably, of course there can be grace given to that person if the community is willing, but a cost is incurred and paid by the community as a whole. Repairing relationships in this way is how we demonstrate God's ultimate grace and love for each of us and all of us. I'm only mentioning this because people think, Oh look at that mess over there! That's weird! and thinks it's far away from them only because they don't understand how connected the world financial markets has become. These were global companies with global implications that will reverberate for decades.

Anyway, there's my rant. And knowing how my friends love me, I know you're wondering what's going through my head, but thanks for reading all that anway.