Path

I always get a headache on Mondays. I think it's because I've been out and about all weekend and then on Monday, my brain complains that I've just been staring at a screen all day.

It's very difficult to keep any sort of perspective somehow.

My boss, John, is a really smart fella. He has quite a diverse resume and it surprises me how sometimes I expect him not to know the answer to a question he somehow still has something insightful to say intimating that he at least knows more than nothing about the subject. He knows what it has to do with. That's rare, I think.

Something that's really frustrating and different about working is that yes, ok I have always worked with at least some people who are smarter than me..ok, I can deal with that. But then, at school, it's kind of more clear why someone is smarter than you whether it be a gift, early childhood development, hard work, more time put in, etc. But at work, the differences are more subtle, and how to become a higher acheiver is subtler still. Before I could ask a kid like Guantong (really smart Sternie friend), say how did you know that? And he'll say something to the effect of reading this book, or doing that practice test. But if I ask John the same question, it'd be tougher to answer. Was it gaining experience on a construction site? Was it all that time he spent in London? Was it because he dated that one crazy Czech girl who worked with so-and-so? So it's frustrating for me, only because I really don't know what to aim for...and it seems I really do have to know what I want. I think I've been so content in just entering a machinery as a cog, that I've never had to figure things like that out. Not that it's normal to expect to know exactly what you want to be (not just do), but I guess I've just never been the ambitious type. I always feel like I've fallen into this path that God would have me walk. Now I'm having trouble figuring out what my next steps should look like. I know the end is God, but what does that mean about my job now? I am confused, as always.