I'm slowly easing my way into "normal" life. I started reading Google Reader in earnest today...and it was weird slowly getting sucked into the finance blogs and my curiosity again diverting my attention to such topics. It's tax season, and that adds all sorts of curiosity on my part...I really don't know much about taxes, and I wish I did. Sometimes I really wish I didn't listen to my mother and just did Accounting as my double-major. Oddly enough, it would've really helped for what I'm working on now...then again, I probably would've focused too much on being an accountant, which would not have led me to where I am today.
So mainly right now, I'm trying to focus on not being overwhelmed. This involves a lot of making myself busy and prayer. More prayer probably is needed. I really wish I could pray more and often and with other people and for other people and other people for me. It's a weird sensation thinking that possibly no one is praying for me...it's not true I'm sure, and a bit of a self-centered thought at best, but I really feel like people praying for me has this supernatural power in my life (as it should) that I can almost feel sometimes. I feel so alone without it. You can never hang out with me, never call me, never hug me, but the thought of someone praying for me, that really makes me feel loved. My great grandmother is an example of this. She's passed away now, but she used to have list of all her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren (which are A LOT) and do a rosary for each one of us regularly. Even in my darkest times, somehow I would imagine her doing this and think, wow, someone cares. I hadn't seen her since I was 6 years old or something, but it mattered a lot to me that she was doing that.
But then I rarely really pray for anyone, unless I know they're going through something or they ask for it...that's just really lame.
Yes, yes and yes. I echo sooo much of your sentiments on prayer. I've always said its the sweetest most intimate thing someone could ever do for me; I find myself craving others prayers a lot lately, and at my lowest moments trying to quell the fear of not having a single person out there lifting me up (which, thankfully, is simply not true!). Much of that comes from how often I forget to pray for others. Praying for you this week.
ReplyDelete