Processing the First Big Girl Vacation

Being that I only go home once a year, it always amazes me how different each visit has been since it wasn't "home" anymore and where it leaves me. Home has been ever-changing...and it makes me wonder if it was always like that when I lived there, or was my leaving some sort of catalyst and home was finding it's identity as I was in college. Empty nesters can be quite radical in their changes. I'd like to think the changes my parents have been making have largely been for the better (as it is for me). Some people don't want home to change (I think this is largely my brother's position), but for me, I think I like change. Especially when it's in a place where so much of my former self was not who I was supposed to be. My bedroom being nowhere near it's former state, the boxes in the garage dwindling to 1 box, it all somehow helps me to grow. The only thing that's important and good is still there, family.

Also, because I never really leave NY, I rarely get asked this question anymore, but I heard it twice this vacation. It's some variation or other of "So you like NY?" or "Do you think you'll live there permanently?" You can almost hear the veiled wonder and/or disgust. I told my mom I like NY because it forces me to deal with people, and what's so infuriating about cities like LA is that it's not like a city at all. It's a flat landscape of boxes. House boxes and car boxes that keep people from bumping into each other (yes, like what the Crash movie is all about). NY forces me to deal with people that are very different than me...yes, of course, you can avoid it, but not for very long, not like in the suburbs where you can really avoid it forever. No, I don't think I'll necessarily live here permanently, but there's gotta be a good reason for me to leave.

Something else that's interesting is I always go home around year-end. So together with all the things you gotta do anyway when you get back from a long vacation: getting groceries, unpacking/doing laundry, re-setting the unplugged alarm clock, take stock of what the roommates have moved around, mail/bills etc. there's all these other little things I do like renewing my budget for the year, putting together tax paper work, making sure my benefits are in effect, calendar transfer etc. It's like an extra point of rejuvination, not only did I Sabbath like whoa, but I also get to restart everything I do.

And this new year has been different than any other, because it really does feel like a NEW YEAR. Before, I always thought new year felt like a cheat being in the middle of the school year which really took over how I looked at a year. But 2009 is a whole year unto itself! No more thinking about 2009-2010 kind of years. And even weirder, I have little clue as to what will happen this year. There are a couple things planned here and there, but there are few markers to grasp a hold of and say "Yes, that is now over and I am moving on to the next thing"...except the next New Year.



After all that, here's a picture of my Boris. Even he had somewhat changed and matured.


That's my baby!