The Great White Way

As if God were granting my wish, Ben and I saw Wicked last night...for free!! That's right free c/o Columbia. I went up to the main campus to meet Ben first in line for the tickets and I realized that the last time I was there was October 2003, when I was terribly sick and didn't even go through the campus tour. And it dawned on me that Ben goes to Columbia...Columbia! What? Weird. Truly the med school is NOT like the main campus at all. A logical debate even ensued while we were in line (about whether a girl was cutting or not). The other girl articulated her argument well, but NYU students would've just put in expletives and a bit more drama and accusation into it.

Anyway, as I was watching the show, I realized that I hadn't seen Wicked since Freshman year. A lot has happened. Which means I didn't really see the show the same way I did before. I remember crying more and generally feeling that real life was unfair. Essentially, thinking the story was completely improbable and had nothing to do with my real life. I think most women who see that show feel empowered, but I just felt like it was all wishful thinking, that I was too weak for it to be true. I was pretty depressing. I think this is the reason why I never really was one of those people who liked to sing or hear Wicked songs. It reminded me of hopelessness, even now.

This time I watched it with a sense of distance and nostalgia. With a sense that, wow, it kinda mirrored the last four years quite nicely. There's facing the core lie, being freed from the bondage of old idols, being loved and accepted for who I really am, making (unexpected) friends, self-doubt and struggle, being given a vision for life, forgiveness, redemption and more. Wicked is a coming of age story, basically, that really happens to parallel my own.

Oh and we saw Equus on Tuesday (this one was paid for and planned). We got seats on stage, so we were the closest we'll probably ever be to Daniel Radcliffe (in case you don't know, he gets completely naked). And it was just so wonderfully good. I can't believe how great it was theologically. Basically talking about how we all need to worship something, to be passionate for something. Ben and I thought how weird it was that BECAUSE we're Christians, we could relate to the crazy 17-year-old better. We recognized our own craziness and depravity in him as well as the desperate need for a Savior. We aren't really "normal" in this broken world.

It's been pretty exhausting. Not only are my sleep patterns messed up, but there's all of that stuff to think about, all stuck in my head with nowhere to go. It feels like it's already Friday today.