Looking forward

Another thing I'm somewhat obsessed with are calendars. I like paper calendars, calendars I can tangibly experience. One of the things that makes me so happy at the end of the year, is that's when I finally can allow myself to buy a new planner (after being tempted by prettier planners throughout the year). Planners to me are like diaries really, chronicling an entire year of my life. I also use the note pages extensively. Notes for my talk earlier this year are in my calendar. So are various phone numbers of realtors when we were looking for an apartment. A list of everyone who paid me for the Ziesels' wedding gift is on there. So are a list of songs I was singing for my voice lessons last spring. Things like that are just not captured anywhere else.

Also, I obsess over things happening in the future. When is my next day off. When is the next birthday in my family. When should I see my doctor. When can I get the time to get an oil change for my car. I just enjoy planning things to look forward to. I think I do this mostly now because I just want time to pass quickly. Since I've got nothing "due" in life, I'm not dreading doing work. It's weird to say, but I think I focus a lot on waiting for the end of things. The end of this meeting, the end of this train ride, the end of this work day, the end of this sentence. One end is just closer to whatever it is I'm looking forward to. I don't know if that's necessarily good or bad, but in the spirit of the C. S. Lewis quote on the top of this blog, it's just true.

I'm going to Barnes and Noble tonight to buy a planner. I'm really looking forward to it.