Foundation of Self

I've been seeing a lot of random Sternies, ever since I started work...even in Jersey City. I saw this one guy today (AGAIN!), and I still can't believe he actually has a job...he was a bit of a cheater/slacker at school. Anyway, I think I always see him when he's running late because I get to work at around 8:45am and he's only just starting to go to the city.

I guess I should have realized this before, but it's weird that as long as I work in this area, I'm always going to have that familiar Stern building experience of recognizing faces, but not actually knowing the person. I have never even talked to or had a class with a lot of Sternies, but I can pick them out and recognize them on the street. It's kinda cool, kinda like we're taking over the world the way Dean Blount-Lyon always says touts we will.

Anyway, THANK YOU LAUREN for pointing out Beth Moore's blog. I guess we should've expected it from that woman. That's a really good post by her too, and one I need now. Frankly, when you're feeling lost and confused sometimes you forget that's what you're supposed to feel...because you are. It's like all the other times we're just making do with not knowing, in both good and bad ways.

A couple weeks ago I got in the habit of singing in the shower that song we would sing while re-establishing the poles for the building (again and again) in Honduras. The song was about the man who built his house on the sandy land. "Don't build your house on the sandy land, don't build your house on the shore, well it might be kind of nice, but you'll have to build it twice...you'll have to build your house once more." That's how I remember it anyway.

I'm excited because I just reconciled my phone to my address book for most of the morning. It was very tedious, but I kept doing it and didn't stop concentrating, didn't even look at the computer once. Whew, yes I can still concentrate! It's something very little, but it means a lot to me. It contributes a lot to my sense of self.

I went to this Stewardship seminar with Redeemer last night, and it's really affirming to talk to Christian finance professionals. I can talk about my faith, as well as talk about money without feeling like a dork. People tend to be so uncomfortable talking about money, but for me (like many things I guess) I wish it was easier to just get to the point. I think it was Tim Keller who pointed out how people find it so much easier to talk about sex than to talk about money. Sure people talk about their sexual past, but I don't remember the last time I heard someone talk about how much they spent on clothes last year and how that compared to how much they gave to God.

It was scary, because I started thinking about how I wish I could be like these cool professionals doing ministry work at the same time. Maybe...maybe...even do financial counseling. I freaked myself out because I'd never even thought about it before. That would mean more schooling, probably at a seminary...wow, I thought, wow I can't believe I'm thinking like this!

Back to the song about sandy land. Jesus is my rock foundation (at least I like to think so), but He can be so all mysterious and hazy sometimes. And I think Beth Moore's post is challenging me to stay within that. And in that haze, it's almost like I can do absolutely anything...it's irritating and wonderful at the same time.